Why Authenticity Is a Journey and Not a Destination
As a long-time Life and Executive Coach, I work with clients on self-improvement so that they can ultimately become the best versions of themselves. This is a marathon and not a sprint as it takes the desire for change, a commitment to doing the work and the patience to see the transformations happen over time.
One practice that I incorporate into my client sessions has to do with establishing and practicing ‘authenticity’ because it’s vital to understanding ourselves, how we behave and how we are. In other words, it’s instrumental to helping people grow and develop into the people they truly desire to be.
In order to incorporate it into my coaching though, I need to first do my best to live it myself and then be able to role-model it in my life for others. So, I often get the question, “Why is practicing authenticity a habit of a highly effective coach?”
This is a great question and a good place to begin with is the idea of authenticity itself.
What is Authenticity?
So what is authenticity? What does it mean?
I believe it has to do with being real and true to one’s self. It’s behaving in a way that’s a reflection of who you really are on the inside. But let’s not take my word for it, let’s consult another source.
According to a dictionary definition by Merriam-Webster, it is “not false or imitation: Real, Actual.” They also define it as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” (Merriam-Webster: click here for the definition of authenticity)
So, why is it important?
When we behave or act in a way that’s not really a representation of who we are, then a disconnect forms. In other words, if what people see in you on the outside doesn’t match who you are on the inside then they’re really not seeing you – and neither are you.
If you’re projecting an outward behavior that isn’t consistent with who you are on the inside, then you know it, too. This can create a situation where you’re trying to be something you’re not and that can grow from a disconnection to a true gap. The wider that gap grows, the more distant you get from who you really are or want to be as an individual.
So why is that important, you might ask? It’s important for a lot of reasons that have to do with establishing and developing your character, trust, credibility and reputation. All these are not only a reflection of authenticity, but also of integrity.
A Model to Consider
The approach to integrity I subscribe to and practice is based in Gandhi’s model. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it has to do with alignment among three specific things: your thoughts, your words and your actions. The idea is that if these three things are all in alignment, then you’re in integrity.
A good way to look at it can be to look at it in reverse. For example, if your actions reflect the things you speak about and your words reflect your true thoughts, then you’re in integrity. If one of those things is off, then you’re out of integrity.
The thing I like most about his system of integrity is that it’s not a perfect state of being all of the time. Integrity is a pursuit. In fact, he has a great quote around this principle that says:
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
Since we can’t always be in a state of happiness, it illustrates how integrity is a pursuit – or a practice.
How It Applies To Us
I don’t know about you, but I’ve often found myself out of integrity.
Based on Gandhi’s model, there have been many times in my life where my thoughts don’t line up with what I’m saying and then with what I’m doing. It’s not that I’m inherently bad, a liar or a person of questionable character – in fact, it’s just the opposite. It’s really that I’m a human and that I’m ‘a work in progress.’ …It’s why I say it’s a practice.
Creating awareness around it is the first step to getting back into integrity and then ultimately into a place of authenticity. It’s why a good coach has their clients practice generating self-awareness in their lives – because it’s absolutely key to developing authenticity. It’s also then integral to living from a real state of being in order to get past obstacles to live the life you really want.
So, let’s take it a step further to bring this concept home.
As a highly effective coach, I make practicing authenticity a habit with clients because I genuinely want to see my clients realize their personal and professional dreams and live their best lives! And as Gandhi further said:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”
If the pursuit of authenticity was solely a destination then we’d either be there or not. In other words, it would seem pretty ‘black and white’ that people either were authentic or they were not. They’d either have integrity or they wouldn’t.
The Benefits of the Journey
When we view it, however, through the lens of a different model, we can see that it’s not a ‘static’ place. Instead, we can imagine it as being more dynamic with various levels – and that it takes a conscious effort to remain in integrity – and therefore to practice authenticity.
So instead, it’s a journey where we get to choose what we want for ourselves each day and grow accordingly. This is wonderful, because one of the most beautiful aspects about being human is that we can elect to grow and develop by the choices we make in our lives.
So what do you choose for yourself? Where do you typically choose from? What role does authenticity play in your life? How do you this model for integrity apply to you? What might you consider changing to live more authentically in your personal or professional life in order to become the best version of you?
Thanks for your consideration and for looking inwards,
-Rob
PS
If you find this topic interesting, you might like reading my book titled ‘Get Out Of Your Own Way!’ Click here or more information.
